Yesterday evening, while I was at a wedding, Ashton starting make some rather alarming comments about his baby sister, Maura. He is afraid that God is never going to bring her home to America. He said that he was afraid God was going to take her to Heaven like He did his grandmother, sister, and his favorite rooster - all in the spance of a year. This conversation began again on our way home from church moments ago. He asked how I knew that God wouldn't take Maura to Heaven and all I could say was that God was taking care of Maura and that we had to be patient.
I wish so badly that I could guarantee Maura's arrival in America but frankly, the thought that she may get really sick like Julianna is never far from my mind. I pray everyday for my children and for peace during our wait - some days are better than others. Over the last weeks, Ashton has gone from longing for a sister to wanting to sell Maura because he didn't want to have to share his toys or his PaPa to being adamant that no one other than us will hold her to now being concerned that she will never come home - Ashton needs our prayers for comfort and peace. He has endured so much loss and disappointment over the last year and he's only 4 (well, he'll be 5 in about 2 weeks). Please pray that God will speak to his heart and provide him with comfort that one day soon, he will have a baby sister to love on!
UPDATE (Monday, Oct. 5)
We haven't told Ashton that our court date got bumped. Actually, we haven't told him much of anything but apparently he is sensing that something has happened. Truly, after 3 years of waiting, some days I am so weary and apparently he feels the same way. Last night and today have been better and he's not mentioned Maura except to say, "She's soooo cute!" We have really tried to guard how much we tell him but he seems to have this weird sixth sense about our adoption. He doesn't have a good sense of dates, so he doesn't have a clue that we had planned to travel in 2 weeks, so hopefully if our travel dates do indeed get bumped then he won't realize it. Anyway, we totally appreciate the continued prayers and support!
6 comments:
What a long journey you've been on. I have prayed and will continue to pray for both of your children and you.
Praying for Ashton. He has faced a lot of loss for a four year old.
Praying that God would minister faith to his heart like only He can.
"May the God of all hope fill you with joy and strength as you trust in Him so that you would abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit" Romans 15:13
Love and hugs and prayers,
Debi
Erica - I am praying for Ashton. Our daughter is 6 and she had such a hard time understanding our court delays etc. I can't imagine Ashton's feelings with adding the loss you all have experienced. I know with our daughter we had to sort of stop telling the details to her (not sure if you do that with Ashton) but we stopped telling J it when court dates were ect. and just told her things like once they got through court then we could go get them. Then we didn't tell her we were going until just shortly before. Every child is different but that is what helped our sweet J b/c it was so hard for her to understand. Praying God gives you all wisdom during this time!!
Blessings,
Kim (YG)
Praying for all of you, Erica. This has been so hard.
Gina
I've had a lot of time to think and pray these past few days. Your family, especially, has been in our prayers. I am trusting that God will bring her to you in just the right time. He certainly did that for us!
Melodie
Lots of them time our little boys are our barometers, they sense what we feel in a way that is unexplained. Like myself, I have to try so hard to keep myself in check. I will send some prayers Ashton. Your family will be whole soon, I just know it.
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