April 20

I'm a little late posting this but my little one doesn't allow me much time for blogging right now - she is definitely a handfull! 

This week has been a hard week for me on many levels - more about that later.  The hardest day came on April 20 - that marked 1 year since Maura was last held by her biological mother.  Maura's story is hers to share when and if she wants to but I will share what is on my heart.  On the night of April 19, I rocked Maura to sleep and as I rocked, tears streamed down my face.  I couldn't help but think of the woman that I will never meet this side of eternity...the woman who gave birth to my baby girl.  As I held Maura close to my chest, I wondered if that's the way her mother held her that last night and if she knew that that would be her last night with Maura. 

I know nothing about Maura's life before April 20, 2009, but I do know that on the morning of April 20, 2009, Maura's mother demonstrated unbelievable love for her daughter.  I will never tell Maura she was abandoned or rejected or given-up, for her life story is one that screams love and dedication by her birthparents.  Jason doesn't seem fazed by not knowing her parents and actually prefers it that way, but for me I want to see them and know them - at least her mother.  It is my prayer that she knows how much her baby is loved and that she is alive and thriving.  I have so much that I would like to tell her mother but if I ever got the chance, I don't know if I could even speak the words my heart longs to share...but then again, a hug and tears can go a long way in expressing emotion and that may just be enough.  I pray for this special lady every day, and in my heart, I trust that God has allowed her to know that her precious baby is happy, loved, and exquisitely beautiful.  I am so blessed.