We will love you forever, Baby Girl!April 3, 2009 - July 10, 2009
3 mos. old
It is with a very heavy heart that I type this message. We received a call from our agency about an hour ago stating that she had some very important information to share with our family. I could tell by her voice that things were really bad. She didn't want to tell me because she couldn't get Jason on the line but I told her that I simply could not wait as he wasn't going to be able to be reached for several more hours. She said that on Tuesday, Ashure started having severe diarrhea so they had her examined and no infection could be detected even with the stool sample, but she was placed on antibiotics for precautionary reasons. She then developed pneumonia on Wednesday or Thursday and never got any better. When she was taken to the hospital this morning, she still had severe diarrhea and pneumonia but her little body shut down due to sepsis.
We are absolutely heartbroken. I keep thinking, how am I going to tell Ashton (our 4 year old son). He has been praying for his baby sister for 3 years and is so excited to finally have a face to kiss as night when he says his prayers. My Mom died just 8 months ago from sepsis that set-in very quickly as well, so this is all so overwhelming for us. I find comfort in that the Pritchett family was able to hold her earlier this week and bring her our care package which included pics of our family so at least she got to see our faces if only in picture.
Well, she is now in the presence of our Lord. I don't really understand a lot about how Heaven works and if we will know one another as Mom and Dad and daughter but right now it brings me comfort to think that maybe we will. I can't wait to see my baby but at least I know that she is with our Lord and between Him and my mom, they can take turns holding her until it is my turn to pass through those gates. The only people who love Ashure more than me, Jason, and Ashton are Christ and my mother so at least she is waiting for us there and she has finally found her Forever Family - today that phrase has a whole new meaning for me.
I know God knew this was going to happen all along but my heart is absolutely crushed. He will bring us through this time with strength, love, and faith that only He can provide. How blessed we were to be able to love our little girl even if we only saw her face for a short time because she was loved even before conception - first by Christ and then by us. I will venture to say that she is one of the most loved and sought after little girls that ever lived.
We will continue our adoption journey but no child will ever replace that of Julianna Ashure Deborah Reed. Please pray for healing within our hearts and peace. It's not always easy following God's will or understanding it but we must trust Him completely. In Christ alone, we will make it through this day and be able to praise Him for the blessing of our daughter whom we loved with all our heart even though she was half-way around the world.
"But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9.
